When I started thinking about how I was going to buy a bunch of cheap, silly, shirts all year long and use them to tame my villainously mean family, I really didn't think I would get as much out of it that I did. I figured I would just have that same prankster spirit that I've always had and my family would be either slightly less or slightly more irate than usual. What I got instead changed the way my family viewed Christmas forever. This is how the whole thing went down...
Every family has someone like my uncle. He's the guy that forgets to buy presents and has a different, low-income job every year. For some reason, though, I love my uncle the best of all my distant relatives. He always has a smile on his face, even when I can tell that my aunt is seriously hurting his feelings with her snippy remarks. When I saw this happening, I rushed and put on one of my Christmas tshirts that I had dog-eared for this foreseen circumstance. It just had an elf who looked like he'd been partaking of some questionable herbs with text that read, "364 Days Off". That got a laugh from everyone, and suddenly the fight was diverted.
My aunt was not an easy foe to defeat, however. She is a cunning creature made of aggression and spite. My uncle was not always her favorite target, either, and I knew I had to fend her off at the pass before she got to my dear mother. I looked through the dozen, or so, goofy t-shirts I owned and found the perfect one. At this point, my family kind of caught on to what I was doing with these shirts, so my aunt looked at my shirt immediately when I walked up to her with a silly grin on my face. It had just text on it with some snowflakes that read, "Who peed in your snowdrift?" I think she got the hint.
I was starting to really enjoy my game, I must admit. My tees were doing their job well. My uncle was saved, my aunt was subdued, and my grandmother was asleep so she wasn't even bothering anyone. There was still the issue with my mom. I love my mom. She's always been great to me and an amazing role model, but I have never known a Christmas to go by where she didn't get terribly depressed. I have caught her crying by herself in her room or in the kitchen when things got really heated or stressful in the past, and I wanted to do whatever I could to keep that from happening.
I found my mom in the kitchen on Christmas as per usual, working on cleaning the dishes from the feast she had spent all day preparing. I had a pang of guilt and anger. Anger because no one was helping, and guilt because I was one of those people not helping. I stood next to her and started drying and putting away clean dishes. She smiled wanly at me and a positioned myself so she could see the cutesy shirt I was wearing. It had a picture of a family of bears posing with various grumpy expressions with print above it that said "Happy Christmas?"
I had this one part of my collection made special, just for her. I couldn't read her reaction to it very clearly until she laughed out loud and hugged me tight. "Oh, bless you, child. I love you so much." I saw my uncle and aunt standing at the door to the kitchen and they came in and hugged us both while we all laughed and cried. That's what family is all about, and it took some stupid t shirts for us to figure it out.
Every family has someone like my uncle. He's the guy that forgets to buy presents and has a different, low-income job every year. For some reason, though, I love my uncle the best of all my distant relatives. He always has a smile on his face, even when I can tell that my aunt is seriously hurting his feelings with her snippy remarks. When I saw this happening, I rushed and put on one of my Christmas tshirts that I had dog-eared for this foreseen circumstance. It just had an elf who looked like he'd been partaking of some questionable herbs with text that read, "364 Days Off". That got a laugh from everyone, and suddenly the fight was diverted.
My aunt was not an easy foe to defeat, however. She is a cunning creature made of aggression and spite. My uncle was not always her favorite target, either, and I knew I had to fend her off at the pass before she got to my dear mother. I looked through the dozen, or so, goofy t-shirts I owned and found the perfect one. At this point, my family kind of caught on to what I was doing with these shirts, so my aunt looked at my shirt immediately when I walked up to her with a silly grin on my face. It had just text on it with some snowflakes that read, "Who peed in your snowdrift?" I think she got the hint.
I was starting to really enjoy my game, I must admit. My tees were doing their job well. My uncle was saved, my aunt was subdued, and my grandmother was asleep so she wasn't even bothering anyone. There was still the issue with my mom. I love my mom. She's always been great to me and an amazing role model, but I have never known a Christmas to go by where she didn't get terribly depressed. I have caught her crying by herself in her room or in the kitchen when things got really heated or stressful in the past, and I wanted to do whatever I could to keep that from happening.
I found my mom in the kitchen on Christmas as per usual, working on cleaning the dishes from the feast she had spent all day preparing. I had a pang of guilt and anger. Anger because no one was helping, and guilt because I was one of those people not helping. I stood next to her and started drying and putting away clean dishes. She smiled wanly at me and a positioned myself so she could see the cutesy shirt I was wearing. It had a picture of a family of bears posing with various grumpy expressions with print above it that said "Happy Christmas?"
I had this one part of my collection made special, just for her. I couldn't read her reaction to it very clearly until she laughed out loud and hugged me tight. "Oh, bless you, child. I love you so much." I saw my uncle and aunt standing at the door to the kitchen and they came in and hugged us both while we all laughed and cried. That's what family is all about, and it took some stupid t shirts for us to figure it out.
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For more information about a X-mas fashion check out Matt's pick for the best Christmas apparel on the web.
