This Saint Patrick's Day is going to be the best one yet. Of course, I say that every Saint Patrick's Day...and it turns out I'm usually right. As for all of the haters out there, you can just go right ahead and shut your mouth. I like drinking, but that doesn't make me an alcoholic. It doesn't make what I'm saying a stereotypical rant, either. It is quite alright to be Irish and to love drinking, and the two have absolutely nothing to do with the other. Just because I wear a funny Irish shirt and have a beer in my hand, you shouldn't make assumptions.
Each year we get only one holiday where we can be the heroes. No one thinks about we Sons of the Emerald Isle on the other drinking holidays, do they? We can wear our funny Irish t-shirts, dye our hair red, and dance a jig on the top of the bar and no one would say anything to us. We pull those kind of shenanigans on New Year's Eve, and we're likely to spend the night in the slammer.
Why spend our blessed, time-honored Holiday fighting amongst ourselves? Half of us want to party and celebrate while the other half just want to berate us for partying and celebrating. Seems a bit of a shame, doesn't it? It's a tale as old as time, though. If you get more than three Irishmen together, they're sure as rain going to have a tussle.
I know that the Bible-thumpers and older folks just want people to respect the Irish people. We should be somewhat more compromising this year, though. The more genteel members of our fine lineage are going to have to come to grips with the fact that the only good they can do on Saint Patrick's Day is giving drunk Irishmen rides home. In turn, the drunk Irishmen will try very hard not to get sick in that kind soul's car.
I'm not giving up the one time of year we get to be the shining, drunken, stumbling stars of the show. Years ago, people would have scoffed at the idea of "Irish pride". Our people were looked at like vermin. All this time later, we are now treated just like every other red-blooded American. If that's not a reason to toast our glasses together and slosh beer all over our funny Irish t-shirts, I really don't know what is.
Each year we get only one holiday where we can be the heroes. No one thinks about we Sons of the Emerald Isle on the other drinking holidays, do they? We can wear our funny Irish t-shirts, dye our hair red, and dance a jig on the top of the bar and no one would say anything to us. We pull those kind of shenanigans on New Year's Eve, and we're likely to spend the night in the slammer.
Why spend our blessed, time-honored Holiday fighting amongst ourselves? Half of us want to party and celebrate while the other half just want to berate us for partying and celebrating. Seems a bit of a shame, doesn't it? It's a tale as old as time, though. If you get more than three Irishmen together, they're sure as rain going to have a tussle.
I know that the Bible-thumpers and older folks just want people to respect the Irish people. We should be somewhat more compromising this year, though. The more genteel members of our fine lineage are going to have to come to grips with the fact that the only good they can do on Saint Patrick's Day is giving drunk Irishmen rides home. In turn, the drunk Irishmen will try very hard not to get sick in that kind soul's car.
I'm not giving up the one time of year we get to be the shining, drunken, stumbling stars of the show. Years ago, people would have scoffed at the idea of "Irish pride". Our people were looked at like vermin. All this time later, we are now treated just like every other red-blooded American. If that's not a reason to toast our glasses together and slosh beer all over our funny Irish t-shirts, I really don't know what is.
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