Well, the time draws near for one of the biggest nights for drunken revelry in the United States. It's time to put on your green hat, find some funny Irish t-shirts, and get down to partying. It's not like your friends are going to let you slide and stay home. Your destined for the bar, and there is very little you can do about it but swallow your green beer and smile...it's almost St. Paddy's Day.
The night always begins slow, because all of the new partiers are nervous and timid while the experienced partiers know that it is a marathon, and not a sprint. There's no sense in getting blackout drunk before 5 o'clock! It won't matter what funny Irish t-shirts you're wearing if you can't remember making people laugh with it, right?
The benefits of picking truly excellent funny Irish t-shirts comes into play around the third straight hour of heavy drinking. When your inhibitions are lowered to the point where you stumble towards every person that makes eye contact with you so that you can point at your shirt and say, "Read this!"
The time comes during any party, even a St. Patty's Day party, when you have to decide if it's time to find a sober person to take you home. The appropriate answer, no matter how drunk you are, is to say "no" to this question. It is time to drink and to be as obnoxiously Irish as you possibly can be. It even helps if you talk in a fake Irish accent while showing people your funny Irish t-shirts. They'll appreciate the authenticity.
After you eventually pass out, there is just one last phase of your debauched Saint Patrick's Day revelry. You now have to wake up, tame your splitting headache, find your way home, and sleep off your terrible hangover. I hope you kept any bodily fluids from getting on your funny Irish t-shirts, because you're going to have to wear something home...and it likely isn't going to be your pants.
The night always begins slow, because all of the new partiers are nervous and timid while the experienced partiers know that it is a marathon, and not a sprint. There's no sense in getting blackout drunk before 5 o'clock! It won't matter what funny Irish t-shirts you're wearing if you can't remember making people laugh with it, right?
The benefits of picking truly excellent funny Irish t-shirts comes into play around the third straight hour of heavy drinking. When your inhibitions are lowered to the point where you stumble towards every person that makes eye contact with you so that you can point at your shirt and say, "Read this!"
The time comes during any party, even a St. Patty's Day party, when you have to decide if it's time to find a sober person to take you home. The appropriate answer, no matter how drunk you are, is to say "no" to this question. It is time to drink and to be as obnoxiously Irish as you possibly can be. It even helps if you talk in a fake Irish accent while showing people your funny Irish t-shirts. They'll appreciate the authenticity.
After you eventually pass out, there is just one last phase of your debauched Saint Patrick's Day revelry. You now have to wake up, tame your splitting headache, find your way home, and sleep off your terrible hangover. I hope you kept any bodily fluids from getting on your funny Irish t-shirts, because you're going to have to wear something home...and it likely isn't going to be your pants.
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